Criminals could get Legal Aid

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Saturday, 27 April 2019

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Newspapers are society's way for cranky old men to find things to get angry about in the morning

Tabloid rage swelled to tumescent levels this week when it was revealed that suspected criminals in the UK were eligible to receive Legal Aid.

Geoff Bile of the Daily Clench exclaimed, “This is political correctness gone mad! How dare those elitist bureaucrats spend our hard earned taxpayers’ money on criminals? Legal Aid should be for law abiding citizens only, people who haven’t been accused of anything.”

A spokesman for Legal Aid explained that it is paid to defendants in court cases to cover their legal costs and help ensure that everyone has access to a fair trial.

Mr Bile was still angry after it was explained to him why Legal Aid exists. “But why do they...If it walks like a duck and smells like a duck, then it must be a duck. Or maybe a duck impersonator. The only fair trial these so-called ‘suspected’ criminals need is one good look at their face,” he fumed, before asking his secretary for another aspirin.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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