Chinese government releases new national flag

Written by Red.S.Crotum

Monday, 13 April 2020

image for Chinese government releases new national flag
The new Chinese national flag

In recognition of the excellent economic boost the COVID-19 pandemic has given China, Leader For Life Or Longer, See Imkingpin, has announced a new national flag will immediately replace the Five-Starred Red Flag. Anyone flying the old flag after midnight tonight, will be treated to a 3-year university course in the Hulunbuir Grasslands area of Mongolia, studying the complete works of See Imkingpin, and being required to forget everything and everyone they ever knew. Outside study hours, participants will be kept busy making face masks from dried batwings.

China, where the COVID-19 is believed to have started after wedding guests devoured 300 pairs of hyena testicles and an assortment of pickled Giant Panda anal glands, has unexpectedly benefited from the pandemic. As other countries were hit sideways at fucking knots, massive orders for face masks and ventilators flowed into China. This has resulted in a doubling of China's national GDP in just one month, and has put a huge strain on guests at the country's numerous remote "universities", who have had their weekly working hours increased by 10%, to 140 hours a week, to cope with the workload.

The new flag, sporting images of the COVID-19 virus partly covering the previous "Dirty Commie Stars", is also being rushed out in large numbers, further boosting China's economic growth.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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