Russia’s Largest Aircraft Carrier Will Be Quarantined For 14 Days

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 21 March 2020

image for Russia’s Largest Aircraft Carrier Will Be Quarantined For 14 Days
The RSS Mrs. Nikita Khrushchev shown entering San Francisco Harbor back in June of 2013.

MOSCOW – The Kremlin is reporting that The RSS Mrs. Nikita Khrushchev, Russia’s biggest most powerful aircraft carrier will be under a 14 day quarantine due to the Coronavirus.

It seems that one of the Russian sailors has a girlfriend who is from Shanghai, China and during his last R&R he ate some egg rolls, Crab Rangoon, and Mongolian McNuggets that she had prepared and he came down with C-19 symptoms.

Admiral Pushkov Trashenko has said that the aircraft carrier will be moored in St. Petersburg between the Kentucky Fried Chicken Restaurant and the Home For Unwed Mothers Shelter.

He noted that the vessel will be scrubbed from stem to stern by 700 imported Egyptian workers.

The admiral wants to assure the citizens of Russia that there is no need to worry or panic. He pointed out that the Russian navy has 8 other aircraft carriers including the RSS Maksim Chmerkovskiy which he pointed out is currently conducting extremely secret war games off the coast of Connecticut.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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