Trump names himself after Ivan the Terrible; causes revival of Russia-gate

Written by joseph k winter

Thursday, 18 July 2019

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Mr. Trump’s current defense of himself and his policies includes insults, threats, plus chanting “Send Her Back!” at his rallies.

This “send her back” refers to Ilhan Omar, American citizen and Congressional Representative of Minnesota, born in Somalia, and critical of Trump policies.

She has objected to regime-change in Venezuela, plus the US as overly influenced by Israel.

This last is said to be “anti-Semitic," but defenders say there is a difference between “anti-Semitic” and “anti-Zionist.”

Trump has branded her as someone who "hates America" and is “vicious.”

A proliferating brouhaha has erupted, with “horrible commies and socialists” (the Squad*) competing with “racist, xenophobic, and he should go back to the hole he crawled out of” (Trump).

(*Squad members = Ilhan Omar, Rashida Tlaib, Ayanna Pressley, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez)

Mr. Trump then interjected a new nickname for himself--possibly originating from The Squad.

“Look, okay, I don’t mind it. This ‘I’m More Terrible’ thing."

"Well, Ivan the Terrible was quite a gentleman, with a superior mind!"

"And he brought a wonderful administration to Russia back in the day!”

“Besides, you know, yes, I am more terrible—but in a good cause! Where is a flag I can wrap myself around?!”

This comment at his rally yesterday brought wild cheering and dancing in the aisles.

Some in the audience bared upper torso, then bent over to promote a half-cleft exposed rear—to more applause.

MSNBC and other mainstream news immediately pumped up their audiences with: “This new idolatry from Trump for things Russian obviously confirms what we have known all along!”

Mr. Mueller snapped out of his despondency, after sitting in a saloon with his nose in a large tankard of Corona Light.

MSNBC: “This president is beholden to everything Russian—cultural, political, inimical, historical, or that monster in the Kremlin right now!”

Squad members remarked that Ivan the Terrible is the perfect image for Trump--a man elevated to power at a very young age who turned into a psychopath.

Besides his other accomplishments, Ivan the Terrible was deeply paranoid and ruthless--like Trump, they added.

Meanwhile, academics point out that "today's disorderly, ugly, and brutal politics show the democratic process of an advanced nation during a presidential election.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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