Government reveals advice on Brexit

Tuesday, 17 September 2019

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No deal Brexit - nothing much to worry about

The UK government has released recommendations on how British people and businesses can cope in the event of a no-deal Brexit. The documents, which were created at a cost of tens of millions of pounds, will be advertised on TV and social media. You can also look them up at www.moreonbrexit.gov.uk.

Each group have been given their own targeted advice, as well as the overall advice for everyone, which is to not panic too much or ask any awkward questions.

People with jobs have been warned that their job may be under threat.

People without jobs have been told not to expect their circumstances to change any time soon, but this is what they voted for.

People who run businesses that trade with the EU are warned that their business may no longer be profitable due to EU tariffs.

People who run businesses that trade outside the EU are also warned that their business may no longer be profitable due to the loss of EU trade deals.

Conservative MPs have been threatened to support their party or else.

Non-conservative MPs have been threatened.

Anyone who would vote for Boris has been asked to continue to support him.

Anyone else should not bother to vote.

Also anyone who has experience with building detention camps is asked to contact Dominic Cummings at The Back Door, 10 Downing Street, London.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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