Harry Maguire To Read The News At Ten

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 8 August 2019

Harry Maguire, the one-time Hull City carthorse who earler this week signed for Manchester United from Leicester City, is a popular man.

He's also extremely handsome. And muscular.

That's the reason behind the BBC's decision to ask the £80million footballer to be their brand new BBC News at Ten newsreader, starting tomorrow, Friday 9 August.

Maguire learned to read at a very early age, and regularly reads menus, especially the one at his local chop suey house in Leicester. He often reads newspapers, out loud, and is used to appearing on camera. Reading the news in front of a camera, then, should fall well within his capabilities.

Harry also has the clothes for it - he's got a suit - but has received permission to wear football shorts, as he feels more comfortable in them.

It's also rumoured that Maguire may well be offered Bargain Hunt, Flog It!, Question Time, and a dream starring role in the Beeb's miserable flagship soap drama EastEnders, if he manages not to slavver on the news.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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