Man Fell Off Bus

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 12 September 2019

image for Man Fell Off Bus
The Expressway 140: don't mess with it!

News is just reaching us about an incident in the Thai capital of Bangkok, where a man alighting from an air-conditioned public transport bus came a cropper, and not so much 'got off' it, as 'fell off it'.

The man, who may never be identified, was witnessed by former resident, Englishman, Moys Kenwood, who was also a passenger on the number 140 bus, which plies its trade, at breakneck speed, between Victory Monument and Samaedam Bus Depot, east of the city.

According to Kenwood, who got on the bus at stage 16, the stop opposite Big C, Bangpakok, and who was travelling to Bang Kradi, the 'mystery man' boarded the vehicle at the stop at Talat OE, and sat in front of him on the left side, in the very first seat. He was a westerner dressed in a white shirt, red tie, black trousers, and some rather natty brown brogue shoes. He was carrying a black briefcase which looked expensive, but, in Thailand, not everything that looks expensive is, if you know what I mean.

As the bus approached the stop at Central Phra Ram 2, the gentleman rose, made his way to the front of the bus, and stood there, waiting to get off.
Then it happened.

In a move which can only be described as ill-advised, the man did not wait for the bus to come to an absolute halt, but chose to 'leave early' whilst the vehicle was still travelling at around 1mph. This, it turned out, was foolish.

The man skipped onto the footpath, but his landing was not quite as assured as it needed to be. His knee seemed to lock, and did not offer the spring which might have prevented his tumble. Over he went, rolling over a couple of times, before coming to rest in front of a woman selling watermelon and guava slices.

Getting up, the man brushed himself down, and forced a fake smile onto his face as he walked off, trying to make anybody watching believe that the gaping hole in the knee of his trousers didn't matter, and was merely a minor blemish on his day.

Life carried on, uninterrupted.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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