Ripped and torn denims are all the rage at the moment, but those in the jeans of one woman on a bus in the East Riding of Yorkshire left her cruelly exposed at the weekend, when a hole the size of a £5 note in the seat of her jeans revealed a grubby pair of tatty yellow knickers.
Not that anybody was looking, of course, but the knickers didn't look very clean.
Moys Kenwood, 55, a passenger on the 121 which plies its trade between Hull and Beverley, had boarded at Tesco on Beverley High Road on his way to ransack the bookshelves of the numerous charity shops in the beautiful Minster town, and was sitting near the foot of the stairs when the obese creature got on the bus.
She told the driver her destination and collected her ticket, then reached for an upright pole and swung around, as she attempted to mount the stairs to the upper deck. The bus lurched to one side as she did so.
A flash of yellow smashed into Kenwood's eyeballs, almost blinding him, in the same way that looking directly into the sun tends to be damaging to the retina. The other passengers on the lower deck groaned, and thirteen people hurriedly got off at the next stop.
The moment passed, and the apparition vanished up the stairs. Some laughter, albeit stifled, could be heard.
Later, the bus driver admitted:
"I've seen her before, the fat slapper, and almost left her at the stop, but I wanted to see what colour knickers she had on!"