Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 27 October 2018

image for Thai Cave Boys Told To Stay In Their Seats At Old Trafford
Sit down! It's not halftime yet!

The twelve boys who were rescued after becoming trapped in a cave in Thailand in July, have been invited to today's Premier League match between Manchester United and Everton at Old Trafford, and have been warned to stay in their seats.

The boys, all from the same team, got into difficulties when they wandered off into caves, which then became flooded, blocking their escape, and an international rescue had to be launched. Luckily, all were brought out alive.

Sadly, a Thai diver died during the rescue.

That's all in the past, however, and, after courting the world's media's attention, meeting the king of Thailand, becoming major celebrities at home, and gaining countless new friends and admirers, they will, today, be guests at the biggest football club in the world.

So everything turned out smelling like roses, then.

Apart from the thing with the Thai diver, that is.


The boys have received a stern warning NOT to leave their seats during the game, amid worries that they might wander off into other parts of the stadium or, worse, out of it altogether, into the surrounding streets and beyond, eventually vanishing into the industrial wasteland of Manchester itself, which is full of hidden dangers lurking around every corner.

Far more life-threatening than a cave.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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