Faceless Couple Worry About Who Their Unborn Child Will Look Like

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 9 July 2019

PIC Listen 253


A faceless couple who are expecting their first child have written that they are concerned over what the baby is going to look like, and who it is most going to resemble when it is born.

George and Heather Humdrum, of New Jersey, were both born without any facial features - mouth, nose, eyes, etc - and absolutely no distinguishing marks on their faces. They look rather like unfinished cartoon characters.

The pair met at a Faceless Disco in New York in 2008, and have been together ever since.

When Heather realized she was pregnant, alarm bells started to ring: who would it look like? Its mother or its father? And, did it make any difference?

Doctors at a local maternity health center have said that the child will, most likely, be a characterless, featureless, indistinctive, and nondescript child, with black hair, and a preference for green, lambswool sweaters.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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