Cat Attack Caught On Video

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 6 March 2019

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Police are closing in

A series of incidents in Denver involving a seemingly deranged cat is a step nearer to being solved tonight, after yet another unprovoked attack on a young child was caught on video.

The cat, a black one, apparently lays in wait in bushes or long grass, then pounces on its victims, often making them shit their pants.

Today's attack was the fourteenth such evil act in the last month, and left a two-year-old boy petrified.

One thing that may help the police track down this wild, relentless and remorseless feline felon is footage captured by a security camera in the garden of the boy's Denver home.

Police officer David Kojak, of Denver police, said:

"If anyone recognises this cat, or has any information pertaining to its whereabouts, they need to let us know as soon as possible, so that we can go round there and pull the bastard's legs off."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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