Written by Jaggedone

Tuesday, 15 January 2019

image for Guy Fawkes arrested in rat-infested catacombs of Parliament
He failed once again, but Theresa is doing a much better job!!

After failing to blow up parliament on November 5th, another attempt to cause anarchy in the Houses of Parliament has been thwarted today!

Guy Fawkes was spotted entering a portcullis below water level in the Thames normally used to ship government dissidents out to mosquito plagued, ex-British colonies. Guy was dressed in a surfer suit to guard him against the freezing waters, carrying a torch and, dragging a keg of gunpowder in a Lidl plastic bag.

Luckily, a pair of Brexiteer rats were down in the dungeons also plotting an explosion in the building (their names shall remain secret but here is a clue: one loves "moggies" and the other has tussled blond hair and looks like Mr Blobby).

They saw this strange figure entering the rat-infested (subterranean versions, the other ones reside above ground level) catacombs below parliament and immediately saw it was Guy Fawkes dressed like a drag queen in a latex, tight fitting suit that revealed a huge pair of 'cojones!' The dastardly, cowardly pair crapped in their pants and run for the hills to Tuscany where they both have luxurious mansions.

On the way out they both yelled; "This is damn treason ol bean and we are about to be blown to smithereens!"

Pointing to the dungeons below, police rushed down the slippery, slimy stairs (slimy is a popular word circling around this particular house) and managed to thwart Guy Fawkes from blowing the place to pieces before Theresa May does it herself!

As punishment, Guy has been sent to Guantanamo Bay because Trump has his dirty fingers in everything. Luckily, the UK government has been allowed to implode itself instead of having one of these damn mercenaries do it for them. (Historical note; Guy Fawkes once fought on the side of Spanish Catholics against Dutch protestants who now live in harmony and peace something many Brits can only dream of!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more