Man Experienced The Sound Of Silence

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 19 April 2020

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A man who traipsed all the way to his brother-in-law's house, way out in the countryside, where very few people live, has told of how he became very bored very quickly, and withdrew to a field, where, at first hand, he encountered the sound of silence.

Moys Kenwood, 56, pleaded with his wife to be allowed out of the house, where he has been imprisoned for the last three weeks, and she assented, saying they would go to her brother's house, 'out in the sticks'.

When they arrived, it was as if the planet had ridded itself of the human race, and that all that remained, was plant life. They didn't see a soul.

Said Kenwood:

"This was not the brother-in-law who cut my hair last week. I must make that clear from the start. This one's a bit of a farmer."

He went on:

"There were ducks and chickens, as you'd expect, the kids were running around, and it was intensely hot. I was totally bored within 10 minutes."

He decided to take a walk, into a field, to see what would happen.

"I went into the middle of the field, and I could hear nothing. No ducks, no chickens, no kids, not even a gentle breeze. It was as if somebody had chopped me ears off. I knew then, what Martin Hannett was looking for. You could've heard a pin drop* a mile away."

It was, he said, the sound of silence.

* EDITOR'S NOTE: As those who have tried it will know, even in perfect silence, a pin being dropped a mile away cannot be heard by the listener, as the pin does not make enough sound to be heard by the human ear of a person standing a foot away, let alone a mile.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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