Man Tells His Children A Bedtime Story, But Falls Asleep Before It's Finished

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 4 April 2020

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And they all lived happily ever after

A man who was exhausted after keeping his two children occupied all day long with games and activities, decided to tell them a story at bedtime last night, to help them get to sleep more quickly, but left them disappointed when he fell asleep himself, just before the end of the tale.

Moys Kenwood, 56, had completed a full programme of children's games, and had little energy for anything by 8pm, but promised to tell Delma, 5, and Norman, 3, their favorite bedtime story - the one about the princess and the unicorn.

He quelled the expectant giggling with a stern look, and began the story:

"Once upon a time, there lived a princess, in a castle..."

It wasn't long, however, before his eyelids felt as if they weighed more than Saturn. He could hear himself speaking, but it sounded as if he were in a cave, far away.

"She set off in search of the unicorn, and..."

The tired man was aware that his eyes were about to close, and mentally propped them open with two matches, but these matches were of poor quality, and snapped almost immediately. He felt as if he were being surrounded by a sea of pure, white cotton wool, and bathed in its charm, as he drifted off, floating gently, cloudlike, to Nod.

"Daddy, wake up!" shouted the two now-fully-awake children.

Kenwood has now been relieved of the children's story-telling duties, and, instead, all three of them will listen to a story read by his wife, starting tonight.

Mrs Kenwood said:

"Two kids is fine, but three is definitely way too many!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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