Man Was Rudely Awakened By Pesky Kids

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 12 April 2020

image for Man Was Rudely Awakened By Pesky Kids
For fuck's sake, don't wake Dad!

A middle-aged man who, quite frankly, needed to sleep, was unceremoniously roused from his slumbers at an early hour this morning, by his children, who thought it was funny.

The incident happened at just before 6am, when Moys Kenwood, who had no reason to wake up early, received screams in both ear canals from Delma, 5, and Norman, nearly 3. They shouted:

"Don't wake Dad!"

This was due to a complete misunderstanding of the children's game 'Sshh! Don't Wake Dad' which the family had been playing the night before.

As the name of the game implies, the idea is to leave Dad at peace, until a particular place on the board is landed upon, and a white button by the side of his bed must be pressed a given number of times - possibly, waking Dad.

Instead, the Kenwood Kids dispensed with the rules of the game, and, indeed, the game itself, and went straight for the punchline, bellowing for all they were worth, into Dad's lugs.

Dad laughed the incident off later. He said:

"That's kids for you! Always skylarking about. But it's fine. I'll bide my time and get them back with my louder voice one of these mornings!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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