Written by Dracula

Friday, 18 January 2019

image for European Union Develops a Police Academy for Proper Etiquette.
EU police academy

The EU Council is holding a ministerial meeting to investigate a national system of policing to protect the freedoms, safety, and property of EU citizens living in member countries.

The EU is recommending a national police academy to properly train law enforcement officers that work in all the member countries, to ensure a unified administration of justice that is not abusive. There have been reports of French police destroying the personal property of homeless EU citizens, a gross violation of human rights.

The EU says it can not tolerate supporting a member country that wants to administer a totalitarian regime.

The EU wants to send teachers to the school systems of each member state to teach children law, so they don't become victims of a controlling government dependent on human ignorance.

They don't want inhabitants to experience restrictions on their mobility, or on their freedom to express or communicate political or other views. They want prostitution to be legal in all member countries, to respect the rights of individuals to procreate in any manner they choose, using their free will.

The EU wants to establish a mass video surveillance system in all member countries to protect citizens from terrorists, gangs, and criminals. They want a set of rules to protect citizens from abuse of improper surveillance. They want public surveillance to be kept out of the media, and to be classified as private evidence for the police and courts. They don't want it to be used as a tool for extortion or humiliation.

They want to create a standard prison system in all member states that is administered by the EU, to protect the lives of member citizens. The prisons will have conjugal visits to protect individual procreative rights. Prisoners will be allowed to live with spouses in their cells. Prisoners will be allowed to live in single cells or in public areas, depending on the choice of the individual. Each cell will have access to an electronic library, and school courses. All violent criminals, homosexuals, and mental patients will be locked in single cells to protect the prison population, including law enforcement.

The EU will host apartment housing and work programs for homeless people in member states to prevent suffering of member citizens. They will also have a food distribution agency to feed the hungry who are without food, to prevent starvation.

They will administer a public transportation system for those that need to go to work, school, and purchase groceries, to prevent people from being incapacitated.

The EU wants to legalize polygamy so people can have the freedom to procreate with free will. All community property laws will become illegal, and shared property and bank accounts will be illegal. Community property laws will be replaced by a will, which allows an individual to disperse his/her property how he/she chooses. The EU will adopt abandoned children for labor, and pension under its industry to prevent suffering.

The acceptance of immigration into the EU will need a 99 percent voting approval of all member countries, to ensure the safety of citizens in member countries from terrorists and criminals.

Member countries that want to deal with immigration on their own, will get a large EU fund to establish immigrants. The immigrants can only travel within the host country, and after 25 years, without serious, criminal convicions, they will be allowed to visit member countries.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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