Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 27 November 2018

image for Man Ends Period Of Constipation In Style
Woodson certainly answered his critics with this strike!

A football supporter who had been suffering from constipation for more than a week, finally ended his 'lean period' in style at the weekend.

Myke Woodson (not real name) had been having trouble passing a stool, and had tried various things to alleviate this problem. He drank a pint of tomato juice on Monday, to no good effect. He took some laxative treatment on Tuesday, and ate Khnom Jiin, a local delicacy, with the same result. Finally, on Thursday evening, he took the extraordinary measure of quoffing a 2-litre carton of prune juice, which made for a restless night.

On waking, Friday morning, Woodson - a Hull City fan - leapt out of bed and hurtled towards his bathroom. He darted into space, and, instinctively 'shooting on the turn', finished with aplomb, unleashing a thunderbolt into the top right-hand corner, which no goalkeeper in England would have got anywhere near.

His wife, speaking afterwards, said:

"It was a neat finish. It's been a while, and it's been stressful for him, but I hope this has now answered some of his critics."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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