Written by Jaggedone

Friday, 16 November 2018

image for UK 8 year-old goalkeeper pushed by pushy dad signs for Manchester United
Jose is of the opinion one can never be too young to become a 'Special One' even if a kid has hidden talents!

The Special One, watching a video of a young goalkeeper being pushed back into his goal by his dad as the ball rolled towards the empty net, has decided the boy has 'special talents', just like him, and has signed him!

The dad, a staunch Liverpool supporter, was quite shocked to see Jose Mourinho knock at his door asking to sign his obviously untalented son for Liverpool's arch enemies.

Jose explained to the dad why he sees so much talent in the boy, and here are his reasons:

1) Anybody who gets pushed around by Liverpool supporters and doesn't give a crap if the ball rolls into an empty net, has 'cojones!' Jose believes he can turn the boy into the next 'David de Gea' and he will come back and haunt Liverpool.

2) Jose said the boy was not caught 'ball-watching' and instead preferred to pick flowers alongside the goal, proving the boy was multi-talented and could eventually become a striker.

3) The Special One also told the dad the boy has special 'come back' qualities just like his present team of sleepwalkers when they wake up because the boy after getting up, shoved his middle finger towards his dad, swore he loved United and, would never support a bunch of Merseyside wannabees.

The boy was given a guided tour of Old Trafford, signed a contract worth £5,000 a week, and in 12 years, Jose has promised him a professional contract worth £300,000 a week if he promises to listen only to 'The Special One' and ignores his pushy dad for being such a pushy asshole.

The £5 grand a week will be kept in a trust fond so his pushy dad can't get his pushy hands on the dosh because Liverpool FC fans are renowned scavengers!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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