Jamal Khashoggi Turns Up Safe And Well

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 18 October 2018


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Full of shit

The threat of a diplomatic showdown over the 'murder' of Saudi Arabian journalist, Jamal Khashoggi disappeared this morning, when the Washington Post contributor turned up safe and well.

Mr Khashoggi had not been seen since he entered the Saudi Arabian consulate in Istanbul, Turkey on 2 October, and was feared dead. It's that kind of place.

US President, Donald Trump had called his disappearance "an outrage", but had not gone further, due to the close relationship the US has with Saudi Arabia.

Mr Trump was expecting a report from the US Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo, who has just been to Saudi Arabia and Turkey. Trump said:

"The truth will definitely come out by the end of the week, after we've had time to make it up".

He also rejected a suggestion that he was trying to provide cover for Saudi Arabia:

"No, not at all, I just want to find out what's happening," he lied.

All of this became academic, however, when Mr Khashoggi was found alive and well back home in Washington, DC, this morning. He was seen shopping for raisins in a local 7Eleven, and told police he had been unaware of the fuss about his whereabouts. He said:

"What a lot of fuss about nothing! I've been busy writing a book about the need for a free press in the Middle East, and I haven't been out for a while."

Asked why he hadn't been aware of the concern being expressed about his disappearance on the TV and in the newspapers, he laughed:

"Oh, I don't have a TV, and I never read newspapers - they're full of shit."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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