Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 15 September 2018

image for Russian Perfume House Releases New Scent
Novichok no.5! - fragrant death

After the recent accidental murder of Englishwoman Dawn Sturgess, a victim in the Sergei Skripal poisoning aftermath, a Russian perfume house has revealed that it is to start mass production of its brand new 'killer' fragrance, Novichok no.5!

Miss Sturgess died soon after handling a bottle of Novichok that had been discarded during the attempt on Mr Skripal's life back in March. She had been given the perfume by her boyfriend, Charlie Rowley, as 'a present'

Novichok no.5! is a military weapons-grade perfume that, its makers claim:

"will knock you out. It will leave you entranced, powerless to resist its charms. It is an attack on the senses. It'll kill you!"

The new scent has been developed in Moscow by the top Russian fragrance house KGB Perfumes, and has been widely-tested.

Novichok no.5! will be on the market from October, and for sale at knockdown prices in markets by Christmas.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Murder, Spy, KGB, Novichok




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