Written by Templeton T. Rat

Tuesday, 10 July 2018

At a family event last month an Uncle kept insisting he was in Texas during the grisly murders of the fictional film “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”

“We tried explaining to him that it was a movie based around the killings by Ed Gein in Wisconsin but he just kept saying he was only one town over when it happened.”

Despite only living in Texas for a brief period in the 70s the Uncle was positive it coincidentally was the time the movie portrayed

“I had even been to that house once” the Uncle said, drinking his fourth Pabst Blue Ribbon. His reasons for being there varied from Christian missionary work to attempting to sell them vacuums.

“I mean the director himself said he made it up, it’s easily verifiable.” A distant cousin told us, Citing director Tobe Hooper’s Wikipedia “it’s not even really questionable at this point.”

The evening reached a boiling point when the Uncle claimed he had even ate in the barbecue restaurant owned by the family in the film series.

“I had heard enough at that point.” Insisted a neighbor who had popped in “I mean the details were getting ridiculous, I just took my plate of food and left.”

Overall the family still called it better than the time their Uncle had claimed to have been a pilot in Vietnam despite being 14 when the war ended.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Murder, Family, chainsaw




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