Written by XRhonda Speaks

Sunday, 1 May 2016

image for Donald Trump Wants To Date Fetus
Donald Trump said if he were not married in the future he could someday date supermodel Taylor Kirsten's yet to be born b

In a bizarre and creepy statement, candidate Donald Trump said he would be dating a supermodel's daughter if he were not married. The only trouble is the "young woman" in question is the as yet to be born daughter of supermodel Taylor Kirsten.

What in the heck is Trump thinking and how did this all happen?

Supermodel Taylor Kirsten and her fiancé shared a sonogram of her still unnamed baby girl with friends, including Ivanka Trump, who then showed it to her famous father.

Donald Trump tweeted the image with the comment, "Taylor is already to old to be that attractive, but her baby is already such a beautiful girl, she'll be quite a stunner when she's all grown up."

The initial tweet didn't get much attention, after all Trump has tweeted hundreds of ill conceived comments and clumsy compliments, it's nothing unusual.

A week later shock jock Howard Stern asked Donald Trump about his views and statements about women and mentioned the tweet about Taylor Kirsten's baby.

"You said the mother, supermodel Taylor Kirsten, was too old to be attractive, but you complimented the looks of her unborn daughter, just from seeing a sonogram picture no less."

Trump replied, "Well Howard, the mom, Taylor, is in her thirties or something and pregnant, she was a ten when she started her modeling career at seventeen, and now she's just coasting on name recognition. Her daughter I think is a 7 or 8 now but could be a ten by the time she's eighteen."

Always provocative Stern says, "Why are you so concerned about this girl? She doesn't even have a name yet, she is still in the womb. Why are you so concerned if she is a ten when she grows up? It's not like you're going to date her."

Trump unashamedly replied, "I don't know, we could date in the future if I were not still married or something happened. Howard you've got to look at Prince Charles: Prince Charles identified Lady Diana and started grooming her when she was fifteen or sixteen, it's just one of the perks of power. So I'm staking my claim in a way on baby Kiran, as I'm hoping they will name her. I've reached out to her parents but they've turned down my offer of monetary support for Kiran."

Howard challenged Trump saying, "I don't think I blame the parents, who we contacted by the way to appear today and they said they have no relationship with you. But you, saying you could date an unborn child sometime in the future is rather bizarre Donald, it's never been done that way."

Trump doubled down, "No Howard, I think you have to realize the sonogram technology makes it possible to see the baby and sometimes the sex too, but I'm sure many powerful men have said to themselves 'I could someday be dating that woman's unborn daughter.'"

A Trump handler at this point walked up to Trump and whispered in his ear, then Trump said, "I'm wasting time Howard, let's talk about the campaign and how I am winning."

Even before the interview ended the blogosphere exploded with rage over Trump's sexist and fetal-philic statements. Several memes with Trump as a movie villain made the rounds, one combined the titles Fetal Attraction and I Know What You Did Last Trimester.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
79 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more