Ted Cruz Attempts to Steal Donald Trump's Thunder by Selecting Failed CEO as His VP Candidate

Written by PhilzVille

Thursday, 28 April 2016

Washington-After a miserable showing in this week's primary elections, the Cruz campaign decided that the best way to stop a failed businessman from becoming the Republican nominee was to sign-on a failed businesswoman as his pick for Vice President.

"Over the past several months, this campaign has been unsuccessful in showing the American people that Ted Cruz could just as easily run this country into the ground as Donald Trump."

A campaign insider said speaking on condition of anonymity.

"Rather than focusing on Ted's ability to provide glib responses to serious policy questions and helping Ted practice facial contortions that mimic normal human emotions, we had to sit down and ask ourselves, 'what is this campaign missing?' and that's when it hit us, Carly Fiorina!"

When asked how Fiorina's experience was comparable to Trump's four bankruptcies, the insider simply responded, "30,000 U.S. jobs and half the value of a Fortune 500 company." Referring to the Fiorina's tenure as the CEO of Hewlett Packard.

Although many pundits and insiders are arguing that this move wouldn't help Cruz in a contested convention, because Kasich and Rubio now would not have a reason to release their delegates to a Cruz/Fiorina ticket, there remains a hope that some in the Republican Party will re-evaluate their support of Trump as the final nine primary states approach.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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