Pope Presides Over Human Sacrifice

Funny story written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw

Wednesday, 24 February 2016

image for Pope Presides Over Human Sacrifice
Pope Francis, after a shower and change of clothes.

Pope Francis closed off his visit to Mexico with the ultimate nod of approval to the blending of Catholic teachings with indigenous Mexican spiritual traditions.

Donning a Santa Muerta costume, he climbed to the top of a Mayan pyramid to preside over the sacrifice of a hundred odd captives.

Though one might expect this gesture to have been wholeheartedly received by all Mexicans, local Mayans were leery of its ramifications.

Said one: "I'm sure His Holiness meant well initially, but look at the victims he chose! Drug cartel kingpins, Trump Republicans, telemarketers, Kanye West, Justin Bieber-- when those characters reach the underworld, the gods are really going to be pissed at us!" (Automatically translated by Bing.)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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