Pope Francis declines lunch invitation by dirty bums to dine with homeless instead

Funny story written by StubbornGorilla

Friday, 25 September 2015

image for Pope Francis declines lunch invitation by dirty bums to dine with homeless instead
"I heard they all have exceptionally bad breath."

On the day of his much publicized arrival in the United States Pope Francis politely declined an invitation to have lunch with some of the top leaders in Washington to serve lunch to the homeless at St. Patrick's Church in Washington D.C.

House Speaker John Boehner, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, and Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid all took a back seat to individuals that actually respect the Pontiff as more than just a photo op.

An unnamed representative of the Catholic Church stated that Pope Francis "has a knack for sniffing out coat tail riders, and sycophants." He expounded that "being involved in the highest levels of the U.S. government made these camera muggers exceptionally easy to spot."

John Boehner still managed to get some Pope related attention while Pope Francis blessed Eloisa Blake, the daughter of Kristene Blake, a member of Boehner's staff that he likely had never even made eye contact with previously. Boehner, characteristically cried to draw attention to himself rather than quietly respect the moment peripherally. "You don't get to be Speaker of the House without knowing how to make just about every situation about you", an unnamed Nancy Pelosi stated.

"If you just want a picture of yourself next to the Pope, there are plenty of card board cut outs, and wax statues of him that you can pose next to without wasting his time" the Papal representative added. "You can probably even order a Fat Head of him, and have the Pope on your dining room wall if you really want to."

There has been no response by the sulking self important Washington big wigs about the snub, but they have probably at least taken solace in the fact that their names appeared in the same article as the Pope. That's something, they guess.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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