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Funny satire stories about Roman Catholic

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The Vatican is offering boys a 45 percent discount on Disney merchandise

Funny story: The Vatican is offering boys a 45 percent discount on Disney merchandise

VATICAN CITY— In a show of apologetic kindness, the Vatican spokesperson, Bishop Horashio Salazar, is offering choir boys who deflowered pristine nuns in hidden church rooms a 45 percent discount on Disney merchandise sold at the Vatican City gift sh...

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An ex-cardinal has been defrocked for seeking independence

Funny story: An ex-cardinal has been defrocked for seeking independence

The Catholic Church has found John Paul III guilty of building a girls' orphanage in Egypt without seeking authority from the Vatican. The Vatican has defrocked John Paul III, an ex-cardinal, and the former archbishop of Istanbul, in the most com...

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Theodore McCarrick Hopes There Is No God

Funny story: Theodore McCarrick Hopes There Is No God

The former archbishop of Washington, D.C., who is currently mired in allegations of sexual abuse, has said that he hopes that there is no God, otherwise he is in a shitload of trouble. Theodore McCarrick, now 88, faces charges of sexually abusing...

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Heaven Moving?

Funny story: Heaven Moving?

In an effort to address major declines in new membership and a increase in the number of people leaving the church, the college of bishops has put together a list of potential marketing ideas, and is awaiting the office of the papacy. "In light...

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Pope Francis Declares Death Penalty Inadmissible in All Cases, Except for Jesus Christ

Funny story: Pope Francis Declares Death Penalty Inadmissible in All Cases, Except for Jesus Christ

In a Vatican press conference today, it was announced that Pope Francis has changed the teachings of the Catholic faith to oppose the death penalty in all circumstances, except for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. The new position was met with incred...

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Pope Presides Over Human Sacrifice

Funny story: Pope Presides Over Human Sacrifice

Pope Francis closed off his visit to Mexico with the ultimate nod of approval to the blending of Catholic teachings with indigenous Mexican spiritual traditions. Donning a Santa Muerta costume, he climbed to the top of a Mayan pyramid to preside...

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Pope makes plea to save the planet by resigning!

Funny story: Pope makes plea to save the planet by resigning!

Pope Francis has seen the light and decided to be the first one who puts his mouth where his money is or is it the other way round? He has offered to resign and take a huge step to make the world a better place! The Vatican have offered him 2 mill...

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Pope sells Lent to the Scamatologists for $69 billion

Funny story: Pope sells Lent to the Scamatologists for $69 billion

The Vatican -- The Roman Catholic Church has given up Lent. In an unprecedented financial maneuver, Pope Francis has turned over the 40 day, 40 night period of atonement to the Church of Scamatology. The sale price was $69 billion. That buys the...

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Religion Drives Man Crazy

Funny story: Religion Drives Man Crazy

On the evidence of the witness who inhabited the flat beneath the defendant's the judge had no hesitation but to refer the defendant for psychiatric evaluation. The charges of malicious damage to property and disturbing the peace were dropped on compassionate grounds. The judge had reached the decision after questioning the witness thoroughly and allowing his tape recording of the events leadi...

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Pope hopes to clean up

Funny story: Pope hopes to clean up

To show the compassion of the church, Pope Frances ordered Vatican barbers to offer homeless men and women a shave and a haircut for "two bits" (twenty-five cents). The proceeds, the pontiff said, will be added to the church's "coffers," except in th...

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Pope issues weather report: "It's hotter than hell!"

Funny story: Pope issues weather report: "It's hotter than hell!"

VATICAN CITY -- While admitting that he's "no scientist," Pope Francis is preparing to issue a papal encyclical (not to be confused with a Popsicle or an icicle) concerning global warming "and other celestial matters." An encyclical is a lesson of...

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Rick Warren, Cardinal Baloney Give Advice To Obama

Funny story: Rick Warren, Cardinal Baloney Give Advice To Obama

In the U.S., critics say, the terms "faith based," "religion," and "family values" cut off thinking in the American brain, generating endorphins and sometimes evoking nods and smiles. Now, after the Hobby Lobby decision allowing "faith based" tigh...

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Pope Requests Vatican Cafeteria Add Pudding

Funny story: Pope Requests Vatican Cafeteria Add Pudding

Vatican City - Pope Francis, the current head of the Roman Catholic Church, has requested that pudding be added as a selection at the Vatican cafeteria. The Pontiff, in office since 13 March 2013, has a deserved reputation of humility, caring fo...

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Pope resigns as God is disproved

Funny story: Pope resigns as God is disproved

"It's the end of the Catholic church," the current Pope has admitted, after a water tight logic disproved the existence of a Christian God. After recent trials saw several priests convicted of child abuse, one lawyer summed up at the end with a ph...

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Cardinal Baloney Addresses Abortion and Contraception

Funny story: Cardinal Baloney Addresses Abortion and Contraception

Catholic clergy and institutions have responded to the ACLU lawsuit against the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops over denial of "proper health care." The case involves a catholic hospital in Muskegon, which turned away a pregnant mother...

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Baphomet

"To think I kissed her (or him) there--and there--and ''there''! - Sarah Michelle Gellar Although some contend that Baphomet is a Marvel Comics super-villain, Baphomet is really the demon of parties and partygoers west of the Mississippi. As such, he (or she) is often depicted at parties in Las Vegas, Hollyweird, and various family nudist camps in Arizona and New Mexico, and some Oregonians inc...

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