Fine scarlet silk robes for Pope's 19 new Cardinals but were any of them wearing knickers?

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 23 February 2014


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Fine scarlet silk robes for Pope's 19 new Cardinals but were any of them wearing knickers?
It's an ancient church tradition

Rome - At first glance the nineteen extravagantly kitted devil dodgers congregating in Rome today to receive the church's highest gong were sporting ten thousand dollarsworth of silken couture topped off by unmistakeable Cardinal red silk hats.

Underneath, of course, it's a very different story with few of the church's princes donning underwear for the three and a half hour ceremony in St Peter's conducted by TWO popes.

"It's a bit of a tradition, like," ecclesiastical commentator Gerry Sarcisty said, "not to bother with the old Y-fronts or boxer shorts for the big occasion."

"Still, they've all just had new tramp stamps inked on their posteriors for the occasion as is laid down in the church's manual of proceedings."

First up with the butt tattoos was Archbishop Vincent Nichols who received a brand new Miley Cyrus tatt on his shaved posterior from the new Pontifical Inker in the Catacombs.

Also inked on his scrawny derrière was Archbishop Pepe Gorgonzola of Papua Nude Guinea who now has a cute hairless chihuahua (don't ask!) tattoo with the words God's Puppy on its collar.

Meanwhile French Archbishop Henri Le Paedo chose to be inked with an image of the Virgin Mary downing a Dom Perignon chaser on the side.

"Fortunately for the Pope it was a relatively calm and windless day," Mr Sacristy added, "apart from for all those jumped bastards that he gonged up in St. Peter's Basilica."

Cardinal Murphy of Ireland is pissed as a newt.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more