The Vatican is introducing sweeping reforms to its liturgical practice. Mass, benediction and special services, from now on, will be all-ticket affairs. The "pensio" as the ticket is called can be bought online. Marketing director for the Vatican...
VATICAN CITY - Pope Francis recently stated to a group of Cardinal trainees at the Vatican that he cannot stress enough the fact that they need to remember the tremendous lawsuits that a group of libido-crazed priests have cost the church. He told...
Rome - At first glance the nineteen extravagantly kitted devil dodgers congregating in Rome today to receive the church's highest gong were sporting ten thousand dollarsworth of silken couture topped off by unmistakeable Cardinal red silk hats. Un...
Rome is preparing itself for another night of violence, vandalism and mayhem as more cardinals arrive in the Italian city to vote on a new pope. "It happens every time they need a new pontiff," explained bar owner Luigi Pistone as he swept broken...
St. Louis - Matt Holiday of the Cardinals announced today that the Cardinals have picked Satan to be the new Pope. While there are no good Catholics on the team, many are well versed in the ways of the Vatican. "We feel Satan best represents the...
Following the announcement that Pope Benedict the XVI will step down on the 28th of February Bono the lead singer of the band U2 has said that he would like to be the next Bishop of Rome. Popes are elected by a conclave of cardinals under the age...
TORNADO, WV (ABSNN) - An unauthorized conclave of Cardinals from the Western Hemisphere has been gathering for the past four weeks in this tiny West Virginia hamlet. Dressed in their scarlet robes, and attended by nuns wearing earth tones, priests...
Rome - He's pointing the finger at Sicilian-born Monsignor Vinnie 'The Gobbler' Mortadella, ex-Grand Master of the Order of the Holy Drive-By Shooting and sometime wannabe archbishop of Chicago, Illinois. Also fingered in this morning's announceme...
It's hard to keep up with the Kardashians Kris, Kourtney, Khloe, Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner. Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner just rocketed to the top of the nekts generation when Pope Benedict XVI named 22 new Cardinals today including Kendall J...
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