Unschoolers tell parents to 'unparent'

Funny story written by Kahfree

Wednesday, 3 August 2011

image for Unschoolers tell parents to 'unparent'
Unschoolers at a Rally

The recent trends of Unschoolers, who basically are self taught on everything from spelling to physics, share a belief that children do not need classrooms and organized education to learn. Rather, they are on their own to do what they want anytime they want. If a child wants to color all day, so be it. Perhaps that child is destined to be a great artist, and if so, he or she does not need to know algebra.

"America's education system is flawed because of the restrictions placed on children." stated Ms. Freewill, a teacher at Loose Ends Education Awareness in Fargo, North Dakota. "How will a child be expected to learn when adults are constantly hovering and making choices for them?" she asked.

"My job is to assist a child if they ask. I do not force reading and I would never judge a child by grading their knowledge with a letter or number. All children produce perfect work according to their own level of understanding. Besides, it would break the child's spirit." She explained

"Many states are concerned that children cannot function without adults. However these bright eyed adults in training are born with sponge brains that absorb all information rather quickly. Once they see how something is done they can replicate it with ease." Ms. Freewill stated.

Now that the Unschoolers have reached the tens of thousands, the children have grouped together to reward their parents with the same kind of lifestyle they are afforded.

All across America and into parts of Canada, kids of all ages are organizing recreation centers and travel agencies aimed at adults who wish only be involved in the first year of their child's life. Once the child has begun walking they will let them go to explore the world though self education. Most parents can expect to reunite with their prodigies' in about 17 years to see how they have developed.

The idea is novel, but not without concerns.

Although Unavailable Parenting may be gaining in popularity most professionals worry about the loss of tax breaks. Families with parents present in the home and life of a child afford the largest deductions and if the parents are out playing all the time, there may be a loss of this right. Congress may try to use the tax benefit as blackmail to force parents to keep the traditional way of parenting. However, some kids are already preparing for battle.

Elegant Butterfly, an 8 year old who founded the new parenting concept made it clear that children across the US will converge on the White House and picket for days on end, (since they do not have to report to school) if tax deductions are removed from those who subscribe to the Unavailable Parenting lifestyle.

"If I were President, I would be ecstatic since his two daughters have expressed interest in enrolling their parents in the group to allow their mom and dad more freedom to run the country more efficiently without the need to worry about education" said Elegant.

"Why should our parents be punished for choosing what to do with their life? "After all, Elegant explained, "parenting is time consuming and costly. Children are capable of living independently and learning life skills through self taught methods. Disallowing this choice for parents would be discrimination." screamed Elegant

'The future of humanity is here and there is no stopping us!' some 300 children screamed in unison.

Those who wish to enroll their parents may log onto UnavailableParenting.web for more details and enrollment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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