At an emergency press conference today, a shocked and embarrassed US President, Barack Obama, announced that China has just delivered him an eviction notice for the entire country.
"Wow", exclaimed a shocked Obama. "This is a real bummer. I mean…, man, we never saw this coming, although, I guess if we would have read all the foreclosure notices that they sent us to appear in front of the World Court to argue our case, but,….. well, who the hell has time to read that crap? Heck, I just learned how to twitter today. Now isn't that amazing".
When pressed about the foreclosure notices that the US president, as well as the entire Senate received, Obama replied:
"Heck, when we borrowed that, what? Ten dollars? Ten dollars and ninety five cents from China. Wasn't that the amount we borrowed? Hell why don't we just round it off to eleven bucks".
"At the time of the loan, they told us that they wanted to be repaid in full within a year, but, hey, you know how it goes, we're fricken' Congress, we don't listen to anybody, except our lobbyist, of course. You know the saying: 'show me the money bunny'".
"Geeez, all this over a measley ten bucks", continued Obama. "I could get dinner for four at a Chinese restaurant for ten bucks. Hell, I could hire six illegal aliens to replace my roof for ten bucks".
"Now, China, actually, wants their money back! They have an injunction from the World Court that has thrown the entire US into Chinese ownership. They want us out of the country within thirty days! I don't see any provisions in here that let us all work as Chinese restaurant delivery people".
"What is really bad", said a stunned John McCain, "is that we had all received the foreclosure notices by certified mail from the World Court and, honestly, not one of us read them. If we had read them, we could have gone to the World Court and defended ourselves, but, then again, reading sucks. That is why we have twitter, so you can say intellectual things such as: i c u p".
"Think about this", interjected Senator Harry Reid from Nevada. "When you consider the fact that not one of us read any of the agreements or court orders, should tell you something. It should tell you that we are complete idiots. Isn't it a crime to take advantage of the handicapped? I would say we have a pretty good argument against China on those grounds".
