Mass Voters Finally Bury Kennedy Legacy: Scott Upset One for the Ages; Barney Swears He's Been Scared Straight!

Funny story written by Morse

Wednesday, 20 January 2010

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Scott Brown Taking His Victory Lap in the Truck Obama Ridiculed!

The voters have spoken, and for the first time since 1972 the Kennedy/Liberal/Democratic machine took on water, sunk, and just like Teddy those many years ago, Obama claims he tried to save it but then just walked away leaving it to suffer a silent death.

Over 50% of the state's voters, democrats hold a 3-1 majority and all state elected officials are democrats, turned out to contest the automatic anointment of state AG Martha "Marcia" Coakley to fill the seat of Ted Kennedy who sprawled like a colossus for 47 years in the Senate.

Martha thought she had it in the bag, and just 'mailed it in' during the campaign, going out of her way not to spend time in the outdoors shaking hands, and turning off even some of the hardest core white, catholic, Irish Democrats.

Upstart Mass Legislator Scott Brown, who campaigned in a pick up truck with 200,000 miles on the odometer just wouldn't quit, even when the punsters said at 30 points behind in December, he was just going through the motions.

Giving Brown a boost was the last minute visitations to the state of Bill Clinton and Barry Obama, which some say, finally swayed them to vote for Brown who took 22% of Dem Voters, and almost all independents.

When the dust settled and the celebrations began, voters across the state were out in the streets doing Irish Jigs and high fiving each other, certain that their uprising would send a message to Washington and the arrogant out of control liberals trying to change the face of the nation.

During his acceptance speech Brown thanked his supporters, and gave a shout out to the Spoof and a certain writer who he said "helped put me over the top with his commentary on the election despite the fact that Google failed to put the stories up on their site., "Those four stories and 191 voters spread the word through twitter, and I have no doubt it swung the balance toward me," he said in awe.

Coakley, in her concession speech acknowledged the Spoof, but denied, again, that she had been harboring White Bulger in her Basement.

"I haven't been down to my basement for ages," she said, " so to say Whitey was living there seems a stretch. The fact that I blew this election also assures that even if he was there, he'll be long gone by the time I get home tonight!"

Washington insiders say the victory has cast a pall of panic and confusion over the Obama Elite. Barney Frank is said to be so shook up, he's sworn to 'go straight' as soon as he gets the courage up to tell Keith Olbermann, "it's over!"

John Murtha has introduced a resolution to change the name of the John Murtha Airport, which the government subsidizes since only 3 planes a day land there, to the Nancy Pelosi Regional Boondoggle.

Chris Dodd, who announced he won't be running in 2010, now says he thinks he'll leave early for his castle in Ireland before his Connecticut constituents
'burn him out."

Barry Obama, and his close Chicago advisors, apparently haven't gotten the message, as they are said to be behind closed doors moving their agenda to pass health care, cap and trade and amnesty ahead regardless.

According to an insider, Plan C is to authorize Martial Law which will be announced on January 27th during the State of the Union Message, since the President hasn't anything else to say since his approval rating is projected to hit 31.5% by then, he hasn't succeeded at anything, and suddenly can't even find 4 team mates to play ball with him on the White House Basketball Court.

Future plans call for Barry to cut a deal with Mexico to lease California , and to cede Massachusetts to the Mashpee Indians for a state wide gambling casino, with Rahm Emanuel being put in charge of collecting the government's 20% licensing fee. Louisiana will be given back to the French, as long as they accept 1.5 million Haitian refugees in the French Quarter, and be responsible for 'any and all natural disasters.'

Ford has announced the reopening of 27 factories to keep up demand for their F150 pick up truck, due to unprecedented orders pouring in from around the country, and plan to feature a Scott Brown Special Edition that features, according to a spokesman, "incredible revolutionary traction!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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