FDA Warns People to Check Expiration Date on Edible Undies

Funny story written by Throckmorton Turdblossom

Saturday, 5 September 2009

image for FDA Warns People to Check Expiration Date on Edible Undies
Be careful because expired product is likely to fall off (or taste funny)

The Food and Drug Administration is warning consumers to check the expiration date on any packages of edible undies that they might have at home. Once past their expiration date, this product is unsafe to wear and unfit for human consumption.

Dr. Brad Forebanger of the FDA said that "edible underwear that have passed their original expiration date begin quickly degrading. The product looses flavor intensity, elasticity, and absorbency. The material also begins breaking down and is liable to be easily ripped or just fall off.

When asked if there were any uses for the product once it had past expiration time, Forebanger said "I usually just put it on the mulch pile or feed it to the neighborhood kids. That Meskin boy who mows my yard gets a real kick out of them."

Forebanger also warned that "sweat or other bodily liquids can also cause this to break down and dissolve, so I wouldn't wear these if you plan on any perspiration, ejaculation, or getting wet."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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