Bernie Madoff was left standing in court wearing only his underwear before his sentencing judge today. The Honorable Denny Chin ordered that the unbelievably greedy Ponzi scheme artist return $171 billion to individuals that he distressed and also everything he had including what he was wearing at the moment. Soon Mr. Madoff was standing in his socks (that were held up by ankle garters) and a pair of Care Bear underpants.
"You are lucky to be left with that much. It is only that this is a Christian court and opposed to pornography that we don't make you give up those too."
Madoff, turned beet red not only from embarrassment but from the cold as he left the courtroom this afternoon. When asked to make a statement Mr. Madoff mumbled something about "Schnooks!" and then fell silent.
Mrs. Madoff was also stripped of most of her belongings but was left with $2.5 million for her own use. When interviewed Mrs. Madoff shrieked "But how in God's name can I survive on only a couple measly million? How can anyone? That's poverty level!"
How can we indeed? Especially after being done over by Bernie.