Hillary Clinton Gets Night Job

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Wednesday, 16 July 2008

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Trying to defray her left over $20 million campaigm dept, Hillary Clinton succeeded in obtaining a night job as an usherette at a movie house in Chappaqua, New York. Similar to her campaign, Hillary will continue wearing pantsuits, (in movie house maroon) clapping her hands and pointing ticket holders to their seats. Unlike her campaign, the big surprise/happy smile might just be missing. Also, unlike her campaign, she will brandish a sixteen inch flashlight.

Making it a family enterprise, a gum snapping Chelsea will work behind the ticket booth wearing a tasseled pill-box hat cocked to one side, while ex-president Bill stands at the door taking tickets. Though dressed in the maroon overcoat, the traditional pill-box hat with chin strap will not be a requirement. On hand to supervise the candy booth will be Grandma Rodham popping nightly fresh popcorn.

Among the films never to grace the screens of the Chappaqua movie house will be: Sorry, Wrong Number, Titanic and Gone With The Wind. Along with Jaws, a number of other films are still in dispute. However, there will be a Joan Crawford loop of films playing continuously on a small screen in the lobby next to the 'Hillary For President' souvenir table. The Pepto-Bismol pink pantsuit is selling at a bargain rate despite stretch marks.

Asked why the Clintons didn't pay the $20 million out of their $110 million estate, foggy replies continued until someone mentioned that the $110 million was Bill's money. Ouch! Did Hillary sign a prenuptial agreement? Certainly, the Lewinsky affair must be worth $20 million.

Meanwhile, the Presidential campaign continues absent of Hillary, with Cindy McCain appearing more nervous each day, in contrast, making Laura Bush resemble Charo the Hispanic entertainer.

Creating debate, a recent cover of New Yorker Magazine gave Michelle Obama an afro, holding an AK47, and dressed Barack Obama as a Muslim. But if serious about satire, (and Spoof writers know satire) the New Yorker could have instead used both McCains on the same cover: an AK47 toting Cindy in an afro with John McCain wearing Muslim dress. Whiz-bang!

Tickets, please?

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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