Crawford, Texarse - (Arse Mess): Etymologists are debating the origin and rarity of a vast spyder (sic) web that has shrouded a huge swathe of Texas including the Bush family residence at Predator Chapel Ranch.
Officials say it is a massive trap for the language-mangling US president whose attempts to reinvent the Murican language necessitated the hiring of White House shock-jock Tony Snow to act as official interpreter.
Texas vermin specialists have said the spyder web may have been constructed by spineless social webbing wingnuts drawn from charismatic evangelical organizations such as the Southern Baptist Snake Charming Tabernacle Mission.
"I've heard from etymologists from Ohio, Kansas, British Columbia - all over the place," said Mike Quinn, a specialist in spineless predators.
"They all reckon it's a trap."
And Professor John Jackman, an etymologist for Texas A&M University, said he's heard reports of similar webs in Alaska where the Corrupt Bastards Club is being pilloried in public by a massive FBI corruption probe.
Jackman, author of A Bush Guide to Vermin and Predators of Texas, added that he would "love to see some etymology intern come out and study this."