Hawaii Given Warning by Angry Gods

Funny story written by SpaceElevator

Thursday, 16 August 2007

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Flossie after her makeover

The Big Island, Hawaii (Reuterus) - After surviving a 5.3 magnitude slap-on-the-wrist earthquake earlier this week, Hawaii was quickly threatened by Hurricane Flossie (although she was eventually downgraded to a tropical storm).

Nobody quite knows who angered the gods. But Republican Governor Linda Lingle has pointed the finger at former Governor Ben Cayetano, who once also started a rumor that she was a twice-divorced, Jewish lesbian. Cayetano, who claims to be a straight Democratic Filipino, adamantly stated that he has no personal ties to the recent series of natural catastrophes.

"It may be true that the Democrats own this state," said Cayetano. "But I swear to Pele (goddess of fire, lightning, dance, volcanoes and violence) that we had nothing to with all of this mess. We may be corrupt, but we would never do anything to inflict so much harm to these islands."

Lingle responded by saying, "By the demigod Maui's fishhook, I swear Ben Cayetano is a liar and a lousy hula dancer!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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