Cheney Doesn't Want to Scare You... But You're going to Die

Funny story written by Mr. Pdr

Wednesday, 15 August 2007

image for Cheney Doesn't Want to Scare You... But You're going to Die
Cheney (after devouring a small child) Speaks in Iowa

DES MOINES, Iowa - Vice President Dick Cheney says the United States will risk another terrorist attack if voters make the wrong choice in 2008, suggesting Democrats would follow a pre-Sept. 11 policy of reacting defensively.

"It's absolutely essential that 14 months from now we make the right choice, because if we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we'll get hit again and we'll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States," Cheney told supporters at a town-hall meeting Tuesday.

Other Things that Dick Cheney says will happen if Bush loses in Nov:

  • Jesus will cry.
  • Ice cream will triple in price.
  • Your mother won't love you anymore.
    - Halliburton will lose even more government contracts.
  • The protective layer of soot in our skies will disappear.
  • Eating fish will no longer supply you with your RDA of mercury.

"Clearly the American people realize that we will do everything in our power to protect them from terrorists.... because it's clear that the President and myself in no way try to instill terror in our own people." Said the Vice President... adding, "But seriously, if you don't vote for Republicans you will die."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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