Recovering Alcoholic Carefully Weighs Pros and Cons of Jeopardizing Everything for One More Drunken Weekend

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Tuesday, 10 June 2025

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For recovering alcoholic Wes Davis, one pro of a drunken weekend is the possibility that this time nothing will go wrong.

After almost eight years of sobriety, albeit of the California variety, Wes Davis of Nashville, Tennessee, found himself fantasizing about allowing himself one more carefully structured drunken weekend but, not wanting to make any rash decisions, carefully weighed the pros and cons of jeopardizing everything for the sake of a drinking binge.

“It would suck to lose the tech career that I finally got going after years of scraping by on music gigs, restaurant jobs, and the occasional stint at Auto Zone,” said Wes, considering some of the potential cons of allowing himself one more drunken weekend.

Another con, he noted, was the risk of losing his sweet, smart, beautiful girlfriend of seven years, Katrina, possibly the only person who has ever truly loved him. “After all the messed up, mutually abusive relationships I’ve had in the past, I wouldn’t take that lightly.,” he said. “It’s a real consideration.’

On the pros side of engaging in a drunken weekend would, of course, be the distinctive taste of his liquor of choice, Jagermeister, as well as the possibility that on this particular drinking weekend, nothing whatsoever would go wrong – an outcome Wes has not previously experienced in his years as an active alcoholic and, for that reason, would not want to miss out on.

“Like every decision in life, there are advantages and disadvantages either way you go,” he said. "The challenge of our human condition.”

Despite his ambiguity, West has opted to hold off on engaging in one more drunken weekend, at least for now, although he is aware that this postponement of making an actual choice is, in itself, a choice. “To quote the Rush song I covered for years playing music in the Redneck Riviera, if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.” He smiled and added, ‘In this case, though, that may be a good thing.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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