National Mentally Ill People's Assn. Convention Thanks NRA for Access To Guns

Funny story written by UncleDale

Thursday, 28 July 2022

image for National Mentally Ill People's Assn. Convention Thanks NRA for Access To Guns
Guns don't kill people, depression does.

The NMIP Assn. had its annual Convention in Los Angeles - the Craziest town in the U. S. A. (Police for years, all over the West, gave their mentally ill residents free one-way bus tickets to Los Angeles.)

After many testimonials for new medications and several speakers telling of new medications based on Magic Mushrooms, the Director of the Convention - slightly paranoid and glancing around all the time that he talked - came to the podium and gave the ending speech.

He commended the National Rifle Association and Senators in Congress for not discriminating against the mentally ill - and making sure they had easy access to AR-15's and other high-powered rifles and handguns.

"This has been a great convention,” he said. “We want to thank the NRA for funding, and the great display of assault rifles they had in the lobby.

“Because of them and Conservative members of Congress, we have 20 million guns in the U. S. - more than any other nation - and growing.

“It's a highly profitable 30-billion-dollar industry.

“Our members also can currently buy guns over the internet, and even on Facebook - with no restrictions - what a great country.

“As in any group, there are a few bad apples that give us all a bad name.

“Especially our members who shoot young children. They have a right to shoot anybody they are angry with but should not be shooting children.

“Anyway, as long as we are of legal age - there are no other rules or laws stopping us from buying guns - except if you fly. Republicans in Congress has not been able to fix that yet.

“Please - Take one last look at those pretty, color - coordinated Ar-15's, in the lobby. Pick one up one your way out.

“You might need a license for a car - another dangerous item that kills - but no license for owning and operating a gun. That is Freedom in America.

“The rest of the world doesn't have that, Freedom."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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