BILLINGSGATE POST: In case you have been wondering why you haven’t heard anything from Attorney General Pam Bondi regarding her promise to release all the information on the Jeffrey Epstein case, including the names of all the alleged preverts who took advantage of hundreds of young girls, the word is out that among the rich and famous who are squirming lest their names be published, one that stands out is the former mayor of Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, Elmer Smuckmeister.
With the names of a number of high profile gentlemen, including the disgraced Prince Andrew, being bantered around, Smuckmeister’s reputation seemed intact, save for his wandering eye for a random sheep or two.
Upon hearing that his name was on the manifest of a flight on Epstein’s “Lolita Express,” Smuckmeister denied even knowing Epstein, calling the story “fake news.”
Speaking to a gaggle of big city reporters who flew out to Beaver Crossing to pester him:
“Hot Damn. Why can’t you leave me alone? You didn’t jump on that Joe Biden story when he was nabbed for having sex with three Chinese prostitutes while driving a forklift down a backstreet in Shanghai a couple of years ago. Why me?”
“Trump was right about you guys.”
Dr. Slim: “I’m surprised that they didn’t ask him about his Montana Pole.”
Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. Sometimes they miss the story within the story. Jake Tapper and George Clooney didn’t know Biden was senile until they knew.”
