The old hens posing as widows in Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, had something to cluck about this weekend. An early morning raid on Elmer Smuckmeister’s farmhouse Friday morning by FBI agents caught everyone in the small farming village by surprise.
In a show of force that some townsfolk claim was asymmetrical, the FBI came down the road to Elmer’s farmhouse with six spanking-new Abrams-X Tanks equipped with hybrid diesel-electric systems that allow them to operate stealthily. Thanks to this hybrid propulsion system, it was easy to outflank the unaware flock of sheep that was Elmer’s only defense against the encroaching onslaught.
With at least 30 fully armed agents geared-up with night vision goggles surrounding his house, Smuckmeister’s first instinct was to run up a white flag. He knew better than to try to unleash his two favorite ewes on them, fearing they would fall into the arms of the agents without putting up a fight.
It was bound to happen. Elmer Smuckmeister’ home was not the first to be raided by the FBI. There was Roger Stone, who was also rousted in the middle of the night by these marauders. It was he who threatened to unleash his two Yorkshire terriers on the FBI. Then there was the raid on Trump at his home at Mar-a-Lago, where they came in like storm troopers to grab his stuff while he was in New York.
The billboard that Elmer had put up on the main road leading into Beaver Crossing was somewhat provocative. It showed President Biden sneaking up behind a sheep with his nose dangerously close to the sheep’s rear end. The caption from the sheep: “KEEP YOUR NOSE OUTA MY BUSINESS,” said it all.
Dr. Slim: “Does sniffing a sheep’s butt mean that Joe Biden is non-binary?”
Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. That is as close to Heaven as the prevert will ever get.”
