BILLINGSGATE POST: B.O. Plenty had it all. Life was good for him. At an early age he distinguished himself by being the ugliest, most corrupt child in his age group. From pre-school on to when he got kicked out of his eighth-grade class for near terminal halitosis and body odors, he easily out-stunk his entire class.
How badly did he stink? He stunk so bad that he couldn’t even get a job at a carnival. But that didn’t stop him from having sex. It is a known fact that women are turned on by smelly armpits and bad breath. Otherwise, the human race would be extinct.
Not much about Bob Oscar Plenty's early life is known. He met his future wife, the mandolin-playing, loud-singing Gravel Gertie through an internet mating service.
Eventually, as Gravel Gertie grew accustomed to his stench, the two grew closer, and Gertie eventually accepted B.O.'s marriage proposal. Nine months later, Gertie gave birth to the couple's first child, a daughter they named Kackle, because of her outrageous laugh.
Kackle, who eventually changed her name to Kamala, played her cards well; her relationship with Willie Brown was memorialized by Paul Anka’s sappy melody, “Put Your Heels On My Shoulders.” Somehow she parlayed that into her current run for president of these here United States.
Dr. Slim: “She may have not been the perfect child, she stinks, nonetheless.”
Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. After B.O. checked out, they should have thrown away the mold.”
