After Print Edition Relaunch, The Onion Announces Other New Initiatives

Funny story written by MauryLevine

Thursday, 26 September 2024

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New Initiatives from The Onion

Well known satire website The Onion recently brought back their print edition after a decade of being exclusively online. This news was met with confusion as many readers were surprised to learn that The Onion was still published at all.

After the questionable relaunch of their print edition, The Onion executives have announced several other new initiatives:

Fun with Fat Shaming issue

VHS tape "The Best of The Onion"

All The Onion offices are now smoker friendly

Gift with subscription is a set of lawn darts

Onion employees retirement benefits moved from 401K accounts to ponzi schemes

Print copies of The Onion exclusively available at Circuit City

Year-End Best Racist Jokes of the Year Roundup

Onion employees forced to work using typewriters and correction tape

Biting satirical news stories about Richard Nixon

Special Guest Editor Bill Cosby

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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