Political polls reveal a significant decline in Donald J. Erasmus Trump's popularity following his conviction for sexual assault.
Recent polls among GOP voters portray Trump's stature diminished to that of a mere answer on the game show "Jeopardy!" - ANSWER: Donald Trump, QUESTION: Who is the twice-impeached former White House occupant found guilty of sexual assault and ordered to pay $5 million?
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is reportedly beaming with confidence as his chances of securing the Republican presidential nomination appear highly probable at 99.8%.
Meanwhile, Melania's soon-to-be-ex-husband dismisses it all as a hoax, a witch hunt, and a politically orchestrated attack on the man whom over 99% of Americans - Republicans, Democrats, Independents, and atheists alike - apparently regard as an unparalleled figure in the history of civilization.
President Joe Biden observes with his usual fervor, his eyes hidden behind his trusted aviator sunglasses. Are they keenly focused or is he dozing off? Joe? Joe!!!
