The booted Tucker Carlson may be replaced by a woman who looks like a pimple with long blonde hair

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 5 May 2023

image for The booted Tucker Carlson may be replaced by a woman who looks like a pimple with long blonde hair
"Kayleigh is known as 'Little Miss Arrogant.' " -LIZ CHENEY

Speculation is swirling at the Faux News network regarding the potential replacement for the controversial Tucker Carlson. A peculiar contender has emerged, once described as a woman bearing a striking resemblance to a blonde-haired pimple.

Kayleigh McEnany, formely Trump's press secretary and known for her exasperating demeanor and being more annoying than a paper cut, has expressed her ardent desire for the position. In a surprising move, she has even offered to perch herself briefly on the lap of media mogul Rupert Murdoch if that will help her cause.

McEnany, named after her paternal Kenyan grandfather, boasts a degree from Left Coast College, where she specialized in animal husbandry and dabbled in the art of basket weaving. Her most profound piece was a wicker toilet she once made for Madonna.

Professing fluency in four languages, though exhibiting prowess in just one, McEnany argues that her expertise as a cunning linguist surpasses that of her competitors. Furthermore, she proudly claims the ability to count from 603 to 1 in reverse within a mere 28 seconds.

In other news, McEnany's has recently been diagnosed her an "inverted bikini line".

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Due to Ms. McEnany's inverted bikini line she would be unable to sit comfortably behind a desk. Instead, she plans to present the news while riding bareback on a majestic stallion.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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