In a bizarre turn of events, Governor Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott found himself in handcuffs after being charged with reckless driving while operating his wheelchair.
The governor, bearing an uncanny resemblance to a rotten eggplant, attempted to sway the arresting officer by invoking his position as Texas governor and his God-given entitlement as a 92% white individual.
However, the officer remained unfazed by Abbott's pleas and informed him that he was clocked going 39 mph in a 15 mph zone. As a result, the governor received not only a ticket for speeding but also another citation for attempting to bribe a Texas state law officer.
SIDENOTE: Adding insult to injury, a private investigator has revealed that a Guatemalan drug cartel has extended an invitation for Governor Abbott to visit Guatemala for an "extended" stay.
