It’s Lonely Being An Old Terrorist

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Tuesday, 10 January 2023

image for It’s Lonely Being An Old Terrorist
You Made A Terrorist Cry ... Happy Now?!!!

Strange news coming out of Iraq and Afghanistan on the terrorism front …

A Spokesman for ISIS, the ever-popular terrorism organization, has said: “No one cares anymore. Remember the good old days, at the beginning of this century, when everybody hated us – even the USA, who created us, spend lots of time and money and bodies trying to kill us all … now, it’s like they don’t even care anymore. It’s all Antifa, Antifa, Antifa!”

He wept, after sounding like Jan Brady, and wiped his nose with his face covering, then continued, “You know what? All those Republican Americans in the backs of their pick-up trucks with lots of guns … dude, that’s us! We did that first! So how can we even be called terrorists when the bloody Americans are doing it in their own back yards? It’s just not fair! We were barely even terrorists – that’s just a word, say it enough and everybody thinks it’s true – we were freedom fighters – once again, just like those fuckers, the Jan 6 insurrectionists! We don’t like Americans taking our jobs!”

Possibly a valid point … a strange point, but …

Will the “usual” terrorists ever make the headlines again? Will armies head overseas to fight the good fight … or is the “good” fight not that big of a deal anymore? Or will all foreign terrorists (foreigners, after all, we all know what they’re like, not as good as the domestics) be relegated to the comic strip and horoscope pages?

His weeping sounded just like Marmaduke’s barking … weird.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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