Junior Tried to Fly High From Daddy’s Roof Like a Coked-Up Icarus

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Saturday, 28 January 2023

image for Junior Tried to Fly High From Daddy’s Roof Like a Coked-Up Icarus
You Need Both Hands, Junior! Let Go of the Evidence!

A man was recently spotted at the top of the Trump Tower in New York City. He was pretty high up so no one could see who he was or what he was going to do. But it was New York, so they chanted (with apologies to Van Halen) “Jump! Jump! Might as well jump!”

And then … he did …

But not how everyone expected. He jumped while holding a hang glider. NYPD were in their cars screaming through streets, hitting and running over people ‘cuz now they can do that legally and not go into The Tombs, NY’s famous hellish jail. If you run someone over, it’s your fault – if a cop does it, it’s “law enforcement” and if you complain, you’re getting in the way of a cop doing his/her duty – and now you’re the criminal too!

But that’s another story. The guy jumped and flew and soared through skyscrapers like James Bond, looking for a place to land so he could be beaten and arrested for having a good time!

But nope, it didn’t go as planned again (It’s frickin’ New York – don’t think you know the city and can predict what’s gonna happen – go to New Jersey for that, wise guy) … anyway …

The hang glider landed in the water just beyond the Statue of Liberty. The Coast Guard pulled him out but let the glider sink.

And then the story came out …

Donald Trump Junior had a briefcase full of small unmarked bills handcuffed to one wrist, and another case filled with fat sealed bags of cocaine. When the Coast Guard picked him up, they said “he was rambling and talking crazy about trying to fly to Russia or Brazil – by a fuckin’ hang glider – this guy don’t know geography, and if his eyes ain’t coked up eyes, than I aint’t from frickin’ New York!”

They returned him to the Tower and to his daddy, who said thanks and gave big tips to keep everybody quiet, and immediately said his son wasn’t involved in the incident, it was Antifa and Paul Pelosi, and he went and on but everybody’s heard it before so they walked away while he kept talking.

PS: So I guess that part about NYPD committing crimes and getting away with it IS relevant … cops and politicians (and their loser sons) all will never go to jail for any crime. A hard thing to come to terms with … Merrick Garland, are you done yet?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more