The world has spoken and they’re tired of the good old US of A.
America has started more wars, killed more foreign leaders, started more coups, poured poison into more drinking water and into the air, manufactured more nuclear and chemical and biological weapons, and been the biggest arms dealer than any other country in the world … that the world wants it gone.
A UN spokesguy said, “Let’s put blame where it should be! America has turned our nations into shitholes of poverty! They get rich by making others poor. They get into wars to ‘save the day’ when all armies are exhausted and supplies depleted – they cheat and call themselves the Great White Hope! Fuck Ronald Reagan! No more America propaganda – we’re not buying it anymore. Anyway, does anyone know when the next Marvel movie is coming out?”
If America was gone, would the world miss it? All the hot new reality shows? What about the Kardashians? Can you live without them? How about your Apple phone and tablet and your Microsoft everything? Can you give up McDonalds and Starbucks and the Oscars and your brand new Ford pick-up truck with missile launcher and room for all your ISIS buddies?
I thought not. Without the light bulb, the world lives in darkness, and candles are too expensive these days, especially with food prices through the roof. Give up my phone for a piece of steak? Fuck that!
Come back, America … all is forgiven.
