Plumbers at Mar-A-Lago have been working day and night trying to retrieve Melania’s lost clitoris and nipple rings, which she flushed down the toilet “but now that Donald found out, I need them back or he beat me again and ask mama for refund”.
Some of the rings had diamonds attached. To those residents who live near the Mar, you may want to check your water supplies or front lawns – who knows where these things could end up, but if they do, you can make some cash.
Melania has offered a $1000 reward for any piece of body jewelry someone finds before “Donald, he whip me, and not in good way like with papa and uncle”, even though she has access to millions. Some say the reward isn’t enough, and if they find a nipple ring, they’re keeping it and selling it on eBay.
Melania’s maid said, “I take her diamonds and gold and buy myself operation for kidney in my children … she don’t miss it, she think it was her pool boy, who she fuck every day since the Donald no get it up, but jewels not in pool, they in my bank account … I fired now? Good, I can’t stand the smell here … whole place like toilet … I think that what she mean.”
This reporter noticed the stench of human feces while standing three blocks from Mar interviewing the maid. And there were no other houses nearby … so, make your own conclusions.
